Some REAL News...

In my first journalism class, the professor kicked that old cliche, "Man Bites Dog...That's news." But this...this is just sick.

A suburban Chicago man is in court today facing charges he raped a female dog, facing up to nine years in prison and $75,000 in fines if convicted. Joyner faces one to three years in prison and fines up to $25,000 if convicted on each of three charges. The dog, which suffered physical injury during the attack, is reportedly recovering in its owner's care.

What I wanna know is, what was he on? I've seen guys leave the club with "dogs", but I've never seen one go into the kennel to pick her up.